It was a dark and stormy night. My girl, Geri, and I were casually watching a movie and eating some Jiffy Pop, when all of a sudden, an eerie knocking came from the front door. Frightened, Geri and I cautiously hid under our warm and fuzzy blanket. "Pizza man!" A low voice called from outdoors. "You get it Melanie. I’m scared out of my pants!" "Oh fine," I said, "but you owe me!" I walked to the front door of my apartment located in central London. Opening the door slowly, I saw an old, plump man standing at the door with a large pizza. "Large pepperoni and sausage?" The man asked. "That’s it!" "That will be 5 pounds." I handed him the money. "Keep the change," I said slyly. Suddenly, after I was just about to close the door, a strange cat scampered into our room, fast as Sporty Spice on caffeine. "Cat! Cat! Cat!" Geri shrieked. "Get it out of here!" We were frantic. "Oh poo, we’re missing our movie…let’s not worry about it." Geri sounded annoyed. "What if it’s got rabies?" I sounded childish. "It’s just a cat," she reassured me, "or isn’t it?" she joked. "Enough with the nonsense…on with the movie!"
As soon as our movie was finished, I was mighty sleepy. But Geri, being her hyper, wild and crazy self, decided that we needed to look for that darn cat. To find it, I suggested that we just need to follow the high-pitched meow that sounded like nails on a chalkboard. We followed our ears, and they led us to behind the couch in Geri’s colorful room. "I think it’s got laryngitis! That noise hurts my ears!" Geri complained. "Let’s just hurry and get it out of our house!" But every time we tried to catch it, that darn thing would run away. "I think I’ve caught it Melanie! I’ve got its tail! Come quick!" I rushed over to Geri as fast as I could. "Melanie…"Geri sounded frightened. "I don’t think this is a kitten anymore…" "What on earth…what’s that?" It was sudden confusion. The cat was mangled. It had mats in its fur and was howling an awful sound. It had eyes like a killer wolf, ready to attack. They were the eyes of doom. "What did you do to it Geri! You were only supposed to get rid of it, not… mess it up!" "I didn’t do it! It did it on it’s own…" I closed my eyes. "This isn’t happening," I said to myself. When I opened them back up, the strange cat-like object was drooling blood and making wretched noises. It sounded like a dying moose! "I think it’s trying to kill us…" "Okay, okay, now stop it Geri…why would this cat want to kill us?" "Cause its crazy!!!!!" "You’re right. What should we do?" "Well, obviously, we don’t have much time to think about it Melanie…" We needed something to fight the forces of evil. Geri wondered who we could call to help us. Suddenly, a great thought came to mind. "SPICE FORCE FIVE!" Geri hooted. This called for the most extreme danger only. And boy, this was extreme. Out of nowhere, like a snowfall in Florida, the doorbell rang. "Now who could that be at this hour of the night?" Geri remarked. She seemed to forget about the evil that we had to fight. As we left the evil cat in our room, we silently walked to the door. As it was opened slowly, a rowdy gang of three girls came into view. "Spice Force Five, at your service!" "Well come right in! The evil is in the back! Help yourself!" I remarked sarcastically. Emma, Victoria, Melanie C, Geri and I all walked to the back room, and when the cat came into view, there were a few shrieks from the rest of the girls. It seemed like when we danced into the room, the cat-like object was blinded by our Spice Force Five uniforms which all a silvery metallic color, with high platforms. Melanie C. got right to work. Being an all-star sports girl, she started fighting the cat. She threw punches, karate kicks, and all sorts of moves on the mad cat. Emma kicked it with her tall shoes. Victoria stayed at the side, because she didn’t want to get her new Versace uniform messy. Geri, of course, is a karate queen, so she was quite busy fighting the cat. And I was just doing some moves that I learned on my recently bought Nintendo64 game called "Sweet Revenge". We assaulted the cat until the meows diminished. "I think we killed it…" Emma said stupidly.
The next day, dressed in our all black attire, we went to a picturesque spot in the woods and carefully buried the small cat by a tree. The girls figured that it would be a peaceful spot for a cat. It was in a deep patch of oak trees about a half a mile from anywhere. It was the time of year when the leaves were turning colors and falling to the ground. We named the cat Ed because Geri said that its suits him. Maybe someday that evil cat would find some kind of peace in the beautiful forest. |
